12-31-2015, 11:21 AM
Your portrayal of a dark and cruel Nick went too far for my taste. I don’t mean that as a negative reflection on your exploration of this different characterization. In fact, I applaud your commitment to exploring just how dark and cruel Nick might become given the right circumstances.
It was Adalind’s reaction to Nick that I couldn’t quite wrap my head around. While her body might respond to his machinations, the heart and mind not so much. Nick established his mindset with “You're here and I... I need someone right now” and “Besides you owe me”. Regardless of how Adalind’s feelings might be changing/growing toward Nick, his assertions and behavior don’t welcome new possibilities, at least not any that Adalind has a say about.
Again, I want to say that my comments & opinion aren’t meant as a negative reflection on your story’s direction, and again, I applaud your commitment to exploring just how dark and cruel Nick might become given the right circumstances.
It was Adalind’s reaction to Nick that I couldn’t quite wrap my head around. While her body might respond to his machinations, the heart and mind not so much. Nick established his mindset with “You're here and I... I need someone right now” and “Besides you owe me”. Regardless of how Adalind’s feelings might be changing/growing toward Nick, his assertions and behavior don’t welcome new possibilities, at least not any that Adalind has a say about.
Again, I want to say that my comments & opinion aren’t meant as a negative reflection on your story’s direction, and again, I applaud your commitment to exploring just how dark and cruel Nick might become given the right circumstances.